Traditions

Why a Coin in the Shoe?

Ancient custom to appease Diana, goddess of chastity and unmarried maidens so that the bride could lose her virginity and bear children.

Why the Wedding Kiss?

Part of the ceremony since Roman times when it was the only legal bond – if one of the engaged pair died before the wedding, the other could keep the gifts only if they had already kissed.

The wedding kiss is a symbol of the newlywed’s faith and love, respect and obedience to mutual benefits. It grew out of the feudal practice of kissing a lord’s ring.

Why a Bachelor Dinner?

It dates back to the Spartan groom, who always invited his close friends to a supper on the eve of his wedding to celebrate and to reminisce about his past. Traditionally, it was also held to raise money for the bridegroom so he would be able to continue to drink with his buddies after his wife took control of the finances. Mainly, however, it was a mourning for the passing of the man’s bachelor status.

Why a Rehearsal Dinner?

Parties were held on the wedding eve to chase away the evil spirits. The more noise the better.

Why a Wedding Reception?

The fact is that marriage feasts have been in existence nearly as long as marriage ceremonies. The early Greeks held a splendid wedding feast for every couple. And it was a very special occasion indeed – because although women were not usually included in other Greek banquets, they were invited to wedding feasts.

Why a Wedding Cake?

The tradition of the wedding cake has ancient roots. The Roman wedding ceremony included a simple cake made from salt, water and wheat flour. The cake custom may also be connected to the fertility rituals of many cultures. One custom, similar to that of throwing confetti, involved showering the bride with many small cakes after the wedding. Sometimes the cakes were even broken over the bride’s head.

Elaborately decorated wedding cakes date from Victorian times. The bride and groom feed each other a taste of cake to symbolize the sharing of life’s bounty.

Why a Wedding Toast?

As drink goes, wine has always been central to the wedding, even mentioned in the Bible. The first recorded toast was given at a Saxony feast in 45 A.D. by a woman who became a bride herself before the end of the evening.

Why throw the Garter?

The garter is said to be a substitute for the ribbon which the lady presented her champion knight of King Arthur’s Round Table who gallantly carried her colors into battle. The Order of the Garter was formed in England in the fourteenth century, as an honor given to distinguished noblemen who to this day wear a heraldic garter as part of their ceremonial garb. Nowadays, the garter is tossed to the single men at the reception; the recipient, according to myth, will be the next to marry.

Why Toss the Bride’s Bouquet?

Traditionally, the woman catching the bouquet will be the next to wed.

Why Throw Rice?

It is thought to have come from the Orient, where rice is a household symbol that signifies a full pantry.

While nearly all cultures have showered the wedding couple with symbolic food to ensure fertility, for many years it was rice that was used in America. Today, however, this is considered dangerous as someone could slip and fall when walking on the grains.

We suggest that you use birdseed, confetti or bubbles.

Why A Honeymoon?

Long ago it was a period when the groom, having bought or captured his bride, disappeared with her so that her family could not rescue her. The couple hid for a month (moon) and partook of a honeyed wine, called mead, which was thought to have aphrodisiac properties. By the sixteenth century, honeymoon referred less to a time period and more to a feeling. Newlyweds were in the “honey,” or full phase, of their love.

Why an Engagement?

At one time the engagement was as important as the wedding itself. Anglo-Saxons were used to stealing away their brides-to-be. Romance, wooing and engagements were not in the picture. But the families of the women insisted on being reimbursed for what was, after all, a working member of the family. The engagement signified the intended transfer of ownership from father to husband and also provided a period during which the “bride’s price” could be agreed.

Several centuries later the situation was in reverse and fathers were paying future sons-in-law, or their families, a “dowry” to marry off their daughters. The engagement was again a time for agreeing on the payment, or dowry, and also a time for collecting an extravagant trousseau, at least for rich brides.

Why an Engagement Ring?

Before coinage, gold rings were circulated as currency. By giving a gold ring to his bride, a man showed he trusted her with his property. Under Roman law, the ring was a sign of security, protecting the interests of the bride-to-be. In Elizabethan times, an interlocking set of three rings was used and worn during the engagement period by the bride, the groom and the witness at the wedding. The three rings would be placed on the bride’s finger during the wedding ceremony. Diamond rings became popular in the 19th century.

Why a Diamond?

The diamond was called the Venus stone by the ancients who compared its shining beauty with the planet Venus in the evening sky. Like this goddess, who was dedicated to love, the diamond in time became associated with sweethearts, and its mysterious inner fire was likened to the equally mysterious fires of passion. The Greeks called it “adamas” – eternal or unchanging, a declaration as to the depths of their emotions.

According to history, the diamond as an engagement ring began in 1477 with Maximillian of Austria and Mary of Burgundy. Max asked one of his councilors for advice in proposing to Mary. The councilor told him to give her a diamond. Max took the advice and proposed slipping a diamond ring on her third finger, left hand. Mar said, “yes” and a tradition was born.

Why a Wedding Band?

Wedding bands, symbolizing eternal love by their lack of beginning or end, grew out of the ancient tradition of using circlets of grass to decorate a bride’s wrists and ankles. Although not required to validate marriage under a civil law, rings were required in 16th century by the Council of Trent. The Circular shape symbolizes eternity.

Why Third Finger, Left Hand?

The ancients believed that a special vein, which they called a “vena amoris” or vein of love, ran from the finger directly to the heart. By putting on a fitted ring, the affections were bound in and could never flow out the finger tips! Also, this finger – although not the smallest on the hand – is the weakest and most dependent on the others for help in lifting and holding. It seemed to symbolize the young wife supported by the strength of her husband. The “ring” finger has sometimes been on the left hand, sometimes on the right, according to country and custom. Among English-speaking persons, it has been on the left since the edict of Edward VI in 1549.

Why a Bridal Shower?

This tradition evolved from Holland when a father disapproved of his daughter’s choice and the villagers gathered to “shower” her with the dowry her father refused.

Why a White gown?

White is the ceremonial symbol of purity and virtue and hence of maidenhood. It has been so since Biblical times.

About 1820 white became popular for formal occasions, although pastels were in vogue until the end of the century. When Queen Victoria popularized white at her own wedding in 1840, it became the official color for brides.

Why a Bevy of Bridesmaids?

In the old days of marriage by capture, a maiden was guarded by her family to prevent seizure, and in later centuries this little drama was enacted a sort of game at country weddings. The bridegroom, gaily attired, coming for his bride, was confronted by a bevy of maidens all dressed exactly alike. His part of the play was to detect his true love, “forsaking all others.” And bear her away to church. As recently as Victorian times, brides maidens often wore white dresses and even short bridal veils looking like brides themselves. The best friend was designated first bridesmaid. Maid of honor and matron of honor are modern designations in line with our smaller wedding parties of today.

Why Ushers or Groomsmen?

Back in the days of “marriage by capture” a young man often brought along some of his strong-armed friends to help fend off his ladylove’s brothers. These were the first ushers or groomsmen.

Why a Ring bearer?

This custom is typically American and unknown in Europe, although he is the successor of the English page boy who still carries the bride’s train in formal weddings at Westminster. Children have always been considered propitious in the wedding party, and in France they carried lighted tapers at the bride’s side. Charles Frederick Worth, who dressed most of the queens of Europe from his house in Paris, is said to have originated the court train, suspended from the shoulders, for the wedding gown. This gave the little train-bearer a definite job to do. But alas, court trains went out of fashion as skirts grew shorter, so the bride’s little nephew was given the wedding ring to carry.

Why a Bouquet?

The use of flowers in the wedding celebration is as old as marriage itself. Nearly every type of blossom bears a symbolism that goes back for centuries. Flowering quince was favored by the ancient Greeks who believed it would nurture the love between a bride and groom, while the Romans braided wreaths of marigolds and roses to guarantee love and longevity. The bouquet symbolizes life, growth and fertility.

Why “Something Old – Something New”?

Something old: continuity
Something new: optimism, hope
Something borrowed: happiness shared from happily married couple
Something blue: fidelity, love, purity
Lucky sixpence in shoe: ensures a life of fortune.